Why Do We Bluff?
key word : bluff
1. to pretend to have strength, confidence, or the intention of doing something, in order to deceive somebody
2. an attempt to deceive someone into believing that one can or will do something
deception, front, subterfuge, pretense, posturing, sham, fake, deceit, feint, hoax,
facade, fraud, charade; trick, ruse, scheme, machination; informal put-on.
When we are children, bluffing is one of our most valuable tools use to manipulate others, especially our parents to get that which we desire and need. However, we cannot live our lives in an authentic and productive way if we are trying to bluff our way through every life situation. To live an authentic life we must be honest and open about everything thing we say and do. We can only make it so far being a bluffer, because after a while of bluffing, those around us will catch on to what we are doing and refuse to give into our bluffs. Bluffs are actually lies. I have known a few such people who lived as professional bluffers/manipulators/users; eventually they were uncovered for who and what they truly are. When that happened they had to move on to live in another location, and set up camp there and continue to live a life bluffing in that new location as they had in numerous other locations.
For the most part, most children grow out of being perpetual bluffers. However, the remnants of bluffing usually remain with us, and we draw on that trickster skill from time-to-time. A child will sometimes bluff just to test the waters; let me see how this will work. They will tell their parents this or that just to see what happens. Here is one of the bluffs I have heard children use. I am going to run away from home because I am tired of always having to do what I am told. It is not fair; all of the rules in this house, I can’t do this, I can’t do that. I should have some say in what I do, because this is my house too.
The reason why I said it is a bluff I heard children use, because I did not ever think about using such a bluff with my mother and father. I knew what would be said if I tired to use that bluff. They would offer to help me pack my bags, and even go as far as offering me a ride somewhere. My parents were smart; they would call me on my bluffs all the time. However, most parents cave into their children’s bluffs. In addition, when we grow up and become adults, many of our partners, spouses, and friends likewise cave into our bluffs. Because of all of that, our lives become one big bluff, one big deception, one big manipulation, one big lie, and when we look in the mirror all we will see is the extremely soft vulnerable empty shell of a person. A bluff is no less then deception in disguise. When we bluff someone, we are deceiving and manipulating him or her with dark trickery; we are deceiving ourselves as well. That is humanities true reality.
This is a sad commentary but a true one; we have been taught to carry ourselves that way. Yes, that is part of our training when we are innocent little children in our formative years. One of many ways we have been taught to manipulate others is through bluffing them. We master controlling others through lies, what ifs, and threatening that we are going to do something. It is like someone telling others, I am going to commit suicide. If a person is really set on committing suicide, they do not talk about it, they are not going to broadcast it for all to know, because they do not want anyone to get in the way of what they are about to do; they do not want to be stopped. They just do it; they just simply do it. On the other hand, you will have those who say, I am going to commit suicide, or in some way do things that point towards making others aware of their plans before they go through with it. However, I would venture to go as far as saying, the majority of them want someone to step in and rescue them, so they would have someone to lean on and get attention from, many times it is just about getting attention. In addition to that and very sad to say, some of them slip through the cracks and are not rescued and actually end up committing suicide even though they really did not want to do so. I can tell you that from experience. I tried to commit suicide once in this lifetime. Actually as I think about it now, it was two times. I was committing another type of suicide, long-term suicide over a ten-year period, from 1969 to 1979 to be exact.
I was committing long-term suicide when I was strung out on drugs from 16 to 26 years of age. I am not talking about marijuana/herb, in which I smoked more then my share, I am talking about hardcore heroin. Yes, at 16 years of age I started using Heroin. When I think back on that, wow, it sends chills through my body. When I see a movie with a heroin addict in it, I think in bewilderment about me actually sinking to such a low point in my life. How could I have done such to myself? The first time I did it, I snorted it up my nose, the next day and for the next ten years I main-lined as they say, I shot heroin directly into my veins. Wow, that was my very own personal hell here on earth. I Thank GODDESS/GOD that I Am Now Consciously Living In My Very Own Personal Heaven Right Here on My Precious Earth Mother.
Back to suicide, I tried to commit suicide when I realized that I was losing my ex-wife. I did not tell anyone leading up to it, however, after taking a whole bottle of pain pills, and in a semi-conscious state of mind, I called my wife at work, and told her what I had done. Then I passed out on the telephone and she called my aunt who lived next door to tell my mother who was in the house with me, I had temporarily moved back home, and they had me rushed to the hospital by ambulance. I was serious about killing myself, and consciously I thought that I wanted to go through with it. However, my subconscious was not in agreement with me at all. If I had my choice, I would have chosen life and be with my wife rather than dying. Because of that small thought of a possible alternative choice, I was able to reach out in a semi-conscious state of mind, and call for help. I am so grateful to GODDESS/GOD for sparing my life. Because a few years following that, I met, my second wife and we had four Beauty-Full Children, the Pure Blessing of Love and Mercy. From the numerous drugs I did along with heroin, I should not have been able to have children, or at least not the Four Beauty-Full Healthy Whole Children we had. With many attempted suicides, people are showing others their hands in hopes that they will be rescued.
When someone is bluffing in a card game, they do so because they know that their opponent has a much better hand than they do. Nevertheless, they bluff their opponent into believing their hand is a much better hand than the one they have. Actually, being phony and living life as a perpetual bluff, has become a part of the every day lifestyle of many people. When we are being phony, we are unable to be our true authentic selves; that means that we are unable to allow our Higher Selves to guide us through the troubled waters of this lifetime. That also means that one day, bluffing could result in a drowning when the tsunami of truth and reality finally hits the scorched shores of deception in the life of the bluffer.
Baba-Kundi Ma`at-Shambhala
(SpiritWalker)
Copyright © March 2011
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